Sunday, May 11, 2025 - The Amazing Power of the Gospel on a Woman's Life - Pastor Paul Vallee

[00:00:00] Just a couple of things. Can we remember to pray for Marvin Siebel? Some of us know him. Marvin was taken to the hospital. We don't know what's going on completely. We trust that he'll be okay. So if you can remember him. And so I'm just going to pray quickly. Lord have mercy on Marvin and Marion. I pray that you would restore and renew and do what you feel. Father is in the very best interest of Marvin and Marian right now. In Jesus name, Amen. [00:00:29] Okay, now, Patty just reminded me some of you ordered my books, and you were gracious. You paid for them ahead of time. [00:00:38] And they're here. So if you haven't picked up your copy, please do that on the way out. I'm happy to autograph them if you want me to. [00:00:45] And they're available if you haven't. If you didn't, pre order. That's okay. I ordered enough for you, believe me. [00:00:52] Yeah, I'm really passionate about communicating. [00:00:56] This book is on the Book of Proverbs. It's 40 messages. I've spent three years working on it. And there's a study guide that's free. It goes with it. You have to come to my website to get the study guide. But there's a lot of information. It's really to teach you how to live the Christian life. Very practical instruction. Okay. So it's available for you. All right. I'm going to have you turn in the book to the Book of Titus. And I'm going to. I'm going to preach an interesting sermon this morning. It's called the Amazing Power of the Gospel on a Woman's Life. [00:01:28] But all the guys are going, well, that's great. We're off the hook. No, you're not. [00:01:32] Believe me. This is a totally different kind of sermon. You know, usually on Mother's Day, you want to honor mothers. And I do truly honor you. And we've been praying for you. And I recognize this is a day that has probably different meanings to different people. Some just lost their mothers. Some would like to be mothers. Some probably wish their mother was a different person. You know, lots of things that go on in our lives. But at the end of the day, what I'm going to. I'm going to. It's not just a word of honor, but it's a word of challenge. It's not just to the women, though, primarily to them, but it's a word to all of us. And you'll see in a few minutes why I'm saying that. [00:02:10] George Schwab writes In his book, Right in Their Own Eyes, the Book of Judges is about God's forging for himself a community of worshipers in a time when all the people did that, which was right in their own eyes. Now, how many think, you know, we're probably living in a time like that, People are doing their own thing and what God is actually doing right now, and this should encourage us. He's forging a community. God is doing something positive. And I know we can look at life through a lens and say, well, there's all these bad things happening, Pastor. And I go, yeah, I see those things. But, you know, a lot of times we miss the good things God is also doing. He's forging a community. The indictment was not about the pagan nation surrounding Israel. It was about Israel itself. [00:02:49] Can it be said that we live in such an age today? And I think we can. I think we can see that this concept called worldliness, I've been speaking on that out of Jeremiah, has really infiltrated many, many people's lives. And we've embraced a lot of the values of our culture rather than remain true to what Scripture teaches us. [00:03:08] Now he goes on to point out all of the immorality, greed, and indifference to the things of God. [00:03:15] Many people are distracted by the life we're now living. Can I just tell you this? Life goes by quickly. And I can say that because I've lived long enough to know it's fleeting, it's going by, it's a vapor. [00:03:26] And what really matters is really what we're going to do for Christ. The eternal things, the things that are not seen, the things that are going to endure forever. The things you and I see are temporal. We recognize that. I've been serving in pastoral ministry now for 43 years, so that's a little while. That's older than some of you. I recognize that. [00:03:47] And you begin to notice, I think, trends and changes in the life of the church. And one of the most pronounced changes I've noticed is our attitude towards marital breakdowns. Divorce. You know, when I first went to Bible college, it was a big issue. You know, should Christians ever get divorced? And what grounds could Christians get divorced on? You know, we've moved all past that, you know, today. [00:04:09] And I recognize when we talk about this subject, a lot of times people get a divorce, one of the partners really doesn't want the marriage to end. And I discovered over the years it takes two people to make a marriage work. And so even though one person wants it to work, if the other one does not it ends the relationship. And, you know, God himself knows that experience. [00:04:30] I think we're hard on divorced people sometimes because God himself felt divorced. He felt like his people had been unfaithful to him. He felt divorced from them. There was a lot of pain. Actually. The first exile into the Assyrian realm in the Northern Kingdom, God basically called it a divorce. [00:04:47] Very painful experience for God. And so I think God identifies with the pain of broken relationships. We need to understand that. You say, wait a minute, Pastor. I thought you were talking about Mother's Day, this kind of doom and gloom here. [00:05:00] Well, just bear with me for a little bit here, because I really want to talk about relationships today, and I want you to think about it. Let's just pick on the marriage one, and then we'll keep moving along here. But, you know, often couples, they've done surveys to discover that those who chose to struggle through the early years of marital adjustment and difficulty found greater happiness afterwards. As a matter of fact, that survey said 80% were happier after working through their issues, and 72% were more successful on their jobs and with their children. [00:05:33] I don't know if you're having marital problems. It really affects your thinking, it affects your life, it affects your emotions, it affects your productivity. And, you know, when I deal with people, and I do spend time talking to couples, I've sat down with them and I've said, you know, it's actually a lot better to work on your problems than to go your separate ways, create a whole new set of issues with new partners. And you multiply the problems. You don't just add them. You're actually making life far more complicated. It's a lot simpler just to focus in and work on your issues. But a lot of people need to learn that lesson. [00:06:09] But there are some people here today. I know you're struggling. You're praying for God to do something meaningful and impactful in your relationship, in your marriage relationship. I had somebody leave this morning, said, pastor, just keep praying for me and my husband and just share a little bit. And I recognize there's challenges that people are experiencing. [00:06:27] Here's what we need to realize. Often when we're praying, we can feel like God's not listening. You ever have those moments in life where you feel like, I've been praying and praying and praying and nothing's really happening? I'm wondering if God is even paying attention. And I want to just share with you that many times what we do in our minds is we've got it worked out. We've got to Figure out how God needs to answer our prayer. And usually what I discover is God has got a totally different game plan going on. [00:06:53] I'm praying about something. I think God should be doing this. And God is doing something totally different. Listen to what God says through the prophet Isaiah. He said, you know, my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways. My ways declare the Lord as high as the heavens, are higher than the earth. So are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. And so Augustine shared this amazing story in his own life. He wrote a. Augustine was a 4th century theologian and pastor and he shared how as a young man his mother was a wonderful Christian, Monica was her name. And his dad was a non believer. And so you know, there was a, you know, he kind of chose the path of his dad. He kind of lived a life that was sinful, did his own thing. You know, he could hear his mom crying but it didn't affect him. You know, he just kind of kept moving on, doing his thing. But eventually Monica was so distraught because they were living in North Africa and you know, Augustine now was prepared to move to Italy which was the heart of the Roman Empire at that time. And she thought that place is so bad, so corrupt, it's just going to totally mess them up. And so Augustine shares this thought a little later in his confessions. He said, but listen, this is what you need to understand. He said, but thou speaking of God, taking thy own secret counsel and noting the real point of her desire, that's his mother's prayers. Monica did not grant what she was then asking in order to grant to her the very thing that she had always been asking. What does that mean? She was concerned that he would come to know Christ. You know, despite her prayers, Augustine went to Italy and that's where he found Christ. Isn't that interesting because he went to where the emperor was now relocated from Rome. He was in Milan and and it just happened to be that there was a very godly. The emperor was at this time the emperors now were following the Christian faith. [00:08:53] Ambrose was actually the bishop of Milan and he was an intellect and so was Augustine. And so he would be going to church and hearing this amazing scholar preach God's word. And it was doing it was affecting Augustine in a very powerful way to the point where he once again picked up scripture to read because he had dismissed the scriptures as being that Koine Greek, that very ordinary language. And he was this sophisticated scholar and he really liked the classical Greek. And so this was really, he thought Christianity was like 101. It was really low class. It was just beyond his philosophical mind. [00:09:32] But, boy, I'll tell you, Ambrose really blew him out of the water. And then later on, he heard this voice saying, pick up and read. And he happened to have the scroll of St. Paul in the book of Romans. He opened it up in chapter 13. The very area in his life he was struggling. God says, put. Put off this in your life and take on Christ. And at that moment, he gave his life to Jesus Christ. [00:09:53] What a powerful conversion experience. And he became a very powerful leader and one of the great theologians of the church. Amazing what God can do and how he can change his people's lives. [00:10:04] So I like what Ruth Graham Bell says. This is Billy Graham's wife. She said, how often has God said no to my earnest prayers that it might answer my deepest longings and give me something more and something better. [00:10:20] How many think that's beautiful? And so I want to just encourage you today. I know some of you are agonizing. You're concerned about maybe your children. You're concerned about this or you're concerned about that. You're in agony. You're crying out to God. [00:10:33] Don't try to figure out how God is going to answer your prayer. That's what I'm trying to tell you. [00:10:39] Because often what God does, in our minds, we're going, whoa, whoa, whoa, God, that's not. No, I don't want you to do that. And God goes, I know what I'm doing. Back off. [00:10:49] Be still, my child. [00:10:51] Be quiet. Some of us have a hard time with that. We're trying to help God out, fix this, and we're making it worse. [00:10:58] No, we got to just trust that God is working. He's hearing the cry of our soul. He's interested in these things even more so than we realize. [00:11:08] Well, there's an obscure text speaking to the great need for godly women who desire to be instrumental in their lives and in their service to Christ. And I think there's an incredible need for spiritual mothers in the faith. Now, this is where I'm going to really go. This is where the message is going today. And spiritual fathers. So if you're a guy, you're not off the hook this morning. If you're a lady, yes, I'm directing it primarily to you, but I'm going to speak to all of us. [00:11:35] We're on a journey and we need to help each other. [00:11:38] That's the message. We're on a journey, and we need to help one another. How many Think that's beautiful. Listen to this. Even a man like the apostle Paul had a spiritual mom. Is this beautiful? Listen what it says. Romans, greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord and his mother, who has also been a mother to me. [00:11:59] How would you like to have said, yeah, I was the spiritual mother of the apostle Paul. [00:12:04] Isn't that amazing? Think about that for a minute. You know, who is Rufus? I have no idea. And who is his mother? Who knows? Maybe in heaven somebody will walk up and go, yeah, my name's Rufus. Or maybe a lady will walk up and go, yeah, I'm Rufus, Mom. Oh, you're the mom of St. Paul, the one that befriended him and became a spiritual mother to him. How many here in this room? You know, maybe you grew up in a home and you felt like, you know, I didn't have spiritual parents. [00:12:31] I didn't have spiritual parents. My parents weren't Christians. I mean, we went to church once in a while, but they weren't believers. They had all kinds of problems. Their lives fell apart, you know, because sin has a way of destroying people. So I get all of that. And so when I was 21 years old, this is now, my parents were separated for 3, 4 years. By this time, I was alone. [00:12:53] My dad, I hadn't even heard from him in three years. [00:12:56] That's a long time, especially when you're 21 years old. Kind of a key point in a young man's life. [00:13:02] No male figure in my life floundering. [00:13:11] And all of a sudden, you know, by the grace of God, I was working in a restaurant. I got a spiritual mom. [00:13:17] And that was great. She was encouraging. And then eventually I came to a church and. [00:13:22] And I know what it's like. I walked into this church, probably had a couple hundred people, and I walked in and I knew nobody. [00:13:31] Some of you have had that experience and you feel alone. Maybe you're here today and that's your experience. You've walked in, you feel alone. You don't know anybody. [00:13:37] I was there. [00:13:39] But something about the worship, the way people were worshiping God, and there was excitement and enthusiasm. You could feel it. There was sense of the presence of God. At least I knew what the presence of God felt like. [00:13:50] I knew God was in this place. [00:13:54] I got involved. I started meeting people, and I started getting connected to this church. You know, you can't just sit on the sidelines in a tent. It's not good enough. You'll never connect with the people. But the moment you put yourself out there, you get involved in something, you get to meet people. Pretty soon I was involved, and I was a believer by then. I was getting involved in the church, and I got involved to such a level, I joined the church learning about giving, learning about being a member, learning on taking responsibility. Started teaching a middle school class. Even though, you know, good thing. The youth pastor's wife was helping me because she was theologically sound and I was a little bit all over the map. She was straightening me out. Good thing you have to have people helping you. You're not going to make it without other people. [00:14:38] And all of a sudden, the pastor, you know, decided to meet with four of us. There was four young men my age, in their early 20s. [00:14:46] We would meet with the pastor on Saturday mornings. We would pray together, and we would share, and he'd share his message and talk to us. And because I worked kind of an unusual shift, you know, I worked a swing shift, so I didn't work first thing in the morning. [00:15:00] I think I worked 3 to 11 or something like that. So I was able to go out with the pastor during the day, and he would take me on visits. And pretty soon I began to realize that the congregation was just bigger than the people that I knew in the congregation. He knew people in the community. We went to visit in the prison. We went to visit in the hospital. Hospital. We'd be driving along, and he said, you know, I just feel in my spirit we should go visit this family. And we drive over. And we were in their home. And pretty soon the wife broke down, was crying, and she said, pastor, it was so good that you came today. I was really going through a difficult time. Thank you for coming, and that was great. [00:15:37] I didn't even know what was God doing. He was showing me things, and I was just along for the ride. I didn't say a lot. I just listened. I was observing. I was watching. [00:15:46] Until one day the pastor phones me up and said, listen, I can't get away, but there's a young couple and they're having marriage problems. [00:15:54] Going, yeah. He said, I'd like you to go visit them. I'm not married. I'm 21 years old. What am I going to do? [00:16:01] That's a terrifying moment. Why don't you go on your own? Go visit somebody. They got marriage problems. [00:16:06] I said, you know, I'm not married, and I don't have a clue what to say or do. He said, no, no, no. Listen to me. I want you to go over there. You've been with me a number of times doing these different visits. He says, Just go over there. [00:16:18] You don't need to say anything. [00:16:20] Just tell them that you're. You know, that I phoned you. You're coming. [00:16:25] Just tell them. Pastor Jacobson sent me, and he just said I was just to come over here, and we're just to get together, and I was to pray with you. [00:16:34] And so they invited me in, and they started telling me their story and sharing their hurts and woundedness. And I'm just listening. I have nothing to offer. I don't say anything. I just listen. [00:16:44] And at the end, I just said, well, let's pray about this. And I said to them, you know, God really cares about both of you and loves you both. Let's pray that God will help you. You'll get the wisdom you need to move forward. And I prayed with them, and, you know, it was really funny. They said, we're so glad you came. I was thinking, you know, I didn't say anything. I didn't have anything to offer. But you know what? The very presence of a person caring about a person in crisis is powerful. [00:17:14] Do you know God when he comes, Just his presence changes the situation. [00:17:20] God's presence, isn't it amazing? He came to Job, had all kinds of questions. God's presence came, changed everything. [00:17:29] At the end of the day, Job finally said, you know, I've heard about you, but now I know you, I'm satisfied. I don't need the answers. I just need your presence. [00:17:39] Presence is powerful. It's very important. We relate to people. So I want to give three words that summarize in my mind what a mother is all about. And these words are found in different texts. And the most powerful word to describe a mother is one who comforts children. I think this is fascinating because when I read the Scriptures, what I read is that God really has paternal and maternal image. [00:18:04] What I mean by that? Remember in the beginning when God created a male and female, and he says he created them in his image, male and female. So there's parts of God. We know him as God our Father, but he's also. [00:18:15] He has the nature of a mother. He has a maternal instinct within himself, and he reveals that through a woman. [00:18:24] See, I think. I don't think we understand how important image is or identity is, or having an understanding of our spiritual identity and who we really are and how you and I reflect what God created us to be, male and female. Listen to what he says here in the book of Isaiah. As a mother comforts her child, so I, God is speaking, I will comfort you and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. God says, I'm going to comfort you like a mother. As a matter of fact, the second word is caring. And it's interesting. When the apostle Paul is describing his ministry to new believers in Thessalonica, he describes himself as a caring mother. [00:19:03] He says, just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. What does a nursing mother do? She feeds her child. You know, she changes her child when it gets dirty, her child is crying, and the mother puts the child in her arms and nurtures and brings a sense of love and affection and support and a sense of, I'm here for you. He says, just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you because we loved you so much. We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well. [00:19:37] You know what? Paul was pouring out his life. [00:19:39] Can I just say something? How many moms here you have felt in your life, you've been pouring out your life. You poured out your life for your children? Come on, just raise your hand. Moms poor. Come on, let's be honest. You gave yourself up for these kids. You poured yourself out. [00:19:58] I'm going to tell you something when you and I begin to understand that ministry is about pouring out your life, you're getting it. [00:20:08] You're giving your life away. [00:20:10] You know, I was just at a memorial service for Pastor John Lucas. He passed away here on April 14, 89 years old. [00:20:18] What was he doing the week before he passed away? He was down in California officiating at a funeral for Charlotte Perrot. She had passed away, the lady that started this amazing orphanage. And John Lucas was the director of Canada, and he was down there performing this funeral. He comes home and he passes away months before that. I mean, he did other things in between. But the month before that, he was in Vancouver ordaining brand new Chinese pastor into our fellowship. I mean, everywhere I turn. And this memorial service we went to last Thursday night was three hours long, from 7 to 10. [00:20:54] Why was it so long, Pastor? Well, you have all these preachers. You give them three minutes and some of them stick to the time and others don't, you know, but it was very heartwarming. And you know what? At the end, when I was talking to his son, John iii, he said, you know, Paul, my dad gave away everything. [00:21:13] That's the way it was. When I looked into his bank accounts, he had nothing really, just a few thousand bucks. That's it. He spent his whole life pouring himself out for others There's a large Filipino community that's a part of our fellowship. And the reason they're part of our fellowship is because of John Lucas. And you know what they called him? Grandpa. [00:21:35] Yeah, because he was relational. [00:21:37] He had phone people. He remembered names. He remembered your birthday. He could sit down in a meeting. And I've been to these meetings. And because I was in the same region, he lived in Calgary. This is our region. And John would be there, and it would be 30, 35 ministers. And he would just go down there and name every person and exactly what they were doing. There were people there. He'd bring. I didn't even know who they were. He would describe their ministry. He'd bring in speakers that I had no idea who they were. Actually, I'm speaking at a conference here in September because of John Lucas. This denomination said, we want you to be our keynote speaker. [00:22:09] Why? [00:22:10] Because that's the kind of person he was. He just kept giving of himself, pouring his life out. [00:22:16] The third word is the mother's influence in her children's life. Calvin Miller shares the impact his mother had on his life. He said, my mother's opinion meant so much to me. He said, I would introduce every perspective marriage partner to Mom. And then one day I brought home Barbara. [00:22:33] And his mother said to Calvin, this is the one. [00:22:38] How do you know Mom? [00:22:40] The way she looks at you. I know she loves you, son. And she said, listen, I've loved you for 23 years. You're creative and artistic, and believe me, you're going to need a lot of special understanding. [00:22:57] Every poet needs a pragmatist to keep their feet on solid ground. [00:23:04] As you listen to Calvin Miller, appreciate the wisdom and love of his mother, something may be stirring inside your heart. Either a longing for such love or a thankfulness for having that kind of a mother. [00:23:16] Now, I know. [00:23:21] I recognize that this may not have been your experience, but it can certainly be your legacy. [00:23:27] What am I saying? I'm saying, you know, we can sit down here. Some of you are wounded. You're wounded in your soul. You said, I was wounded by a mother or I was wounded by my dad. You know, I was wounded. I'm a wounded person. Pastor, I missed out on this, and it's affected me in a negative way. I want to encourage you. [00:23:46] How many would like to move past the wound? Anybody want to get past that woundedness? [00:23:51] Here's what you need to do. I'm going to give you some really practical advice here. Step one, forgive them. [00:23:57] Forgive them. That's the most Important step you're going to take. Just forgive them. You know what? Some of them probably were wounded, too. Wounded people wound people. Forgive them. And then I would do is I would come into God's presence and say, okay, Lord, I got broken places in my soul. I need to be loved. And, you know, I think a lot of people do a lot of bad things just looking to be loved. [00:24:20] I would invite you to come into the Father's presence, open your heart to him and say, father, I need to be loved by you unconditionally. I need to have an encounter with your divine love. If you will do that, and you cry out to God in earnest, God's love will fill your heart. [00:24:35] Step number three, stop focusing on yourself. [00:24:39] Move beyond it and say, God, help me to have people come into my life to mentor me. And, you know, I know in our congregation we have beautiful people, beautiful people. They are spiritual mothers, they are spiritual fathers. And let us know. Just write in a contact card, I want someone to come alongside and mentor me. And someone's going to come alongside of you, just like I had my pastor do it. You know, I can't do that for everybody, but we got a lot of mature saints in this church, and they can do it. They'll just come alongside of you and help you to grow and walk with God and help you to move past yourself and move past, you know, your past. And you can move into a new future and where it's no longer about your issues, where you're now pouring out your life for other people. And that's the true meaning and significance of life. When you are giving your life for others. That's what it's all about. [00:25:30] Look at Timothy's life. He had two godly women in his life. I've been reminded of your sincere faith, which you first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice. And I am persuaded, now lives in you also. [00:25:43] Do you know what I noticed in the statement? Two godly women. But his dad was a Greek. We read that in Scripture. It means that he wasn't a believer. And so Timothy probably lacked having a really strong godly male image in his life. And that happens to all of us. I lack that. [00:26:02] It's not the end of the world. Because Timothy purposed in his heart to serve God wholeheartedly because of the influence of his mother and grandmother. [00:26:11] So eventually their church noticed this young man who had a real heart for God, a real heart for service. And when the Apostle Paul came along on his missionary journey, preaching, guess what? They Said, you know what, Paul, you ought to take this young man with you. This guy is the real deal. And Paul did. He took Timothy along and began to nurture and mentor him. And Timothy became one of the most dynamic leaders. I'll tell you why. When Paul's writing to the letter of Philippians, he said, this is my son in the faith. There's nobody else quite like him. I can honestly say, if I send Timothy to you, it's just like you're getting me. Because this guy has the same spirit, heart, sacrifice, servant heart that I have. He's truly a son in the faith. Isn't that a beautiful thing to say to somebody? Timothy got a spiritual father, the apostle Paul. How many are beginning to catch on? There's a cycle happening. Paul had a spiritual mother. Timothy gets a spiritual father. How many are seeing that the value of this, it's really important that this happens in our lives. You know, I think there's nothing more powerful than a living example or demonstration of genuine faith and how that has to be expressed day to day. There's a tremendous need today for mature godly women to encourage, comfort, care for and instruct others. You know, one of the reasons why the early church had such a powerful impact on the life of the culture was the commitment of godly Christian women. This is the testimony of a 4th century non believer. He was a philosopher by the name of Labanus. And he said, what women these Christians have, in other words, he looked at their lifestyle and he said, wow, this is impressive what these gals do. Here are a few other comments made by early Christian church leaders. He said, the circle of Roman women who studied with Jerome in the three hundreds saw showed such scholarship that he thought nothing of referring some of the church elders to Marcella for the resolution of a hermeneutical or biblical interpretation problem. [00:28:08] What's going on here? How many have ever heard of Jerome? [00:28:12] Some of you, if you've done any church history reading, you'll have heard of him. He was teaching women and he actually was referring some of his elders to Marcella, who's a woman, because he said, this woman has amazing insight into teaching text of scripture. Well, I know a lot of guys have a problem with women being involved in ministry. I don't have that problem. [00:28:32] Listen to this. [00:28:33] In the early 400s, Augustine would say, any old Christian woman is better educated in spiritual matters than many a philosopher. Isn't that interesting? Basically said, these gals are way sharper. The women's spiritual zeal exploded into social service. Fobilia Founded the first Christian hospital in Europe. It was a woman that did that. [00:28:56] So, ladies, thank you. You're groundbreakers. You know, I don't know if you know this, but more women are entrepreneurial than men are. More women are willing to take risks. It's true. You know, go try, go find this out. It is the truth. They're willing to do that. I think they've learned to be women of faith. [00:29:14] But I want to look at our text this morning and I'm going to just be brief on this text. [00:29:19] Likewise, teach the older women. [00:29:22] Why does he say likewise? Because in the earlier verses one and two, he's talking about older men and young men. Now he's going likewise. [00:29:29] So he's going down a pattern here. He's basically saying, this is how you should live. [00:29:34] Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live. Not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. [00:29:44] Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self control and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of God. [00:29:56] So now this does not rule out women who've never had children. What Paul is speaking about is Christian maturity. The church desperately needs mature people. [00:30:08] And the goal of the church, once we become a believer, listen, if you've given your life to Christ, you're just, you're in a rival state. [00:30:15] No, now it's developmental state. We're going to grow, we're going to mature. [00:30:20] Isn't that good? [00:30:22] So how many are saying, you know, it's okay to act like a 5 year old when you're 5 years old, but when you're still acting like a 5 year old or a 15 year old when you're 45 years old, that's problematic. [00:30:34] And there's a lot of people, they behave like teenagers when they should be adults, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. [00:30:42] Okay, so let's take a look at these ingredients. I'm going to give you two. First of all, to live a consistent godly lifestyle, people need to see Christ demonstrated through our lives. [00:30:54] First of all, we see regarding their testimony here, Paul challenges the older women by giving several expressions of personal piety. The language regarding her state of mind. It should be a person suited to a sacred character. She was to be reverent in demeanor. The picture Paul was painting is of a priest in a temple, a person holding a sacred office. Walter Locke says they are to carry into daily Life, the demeanor of a priestess in the temple. In other words, we recognize that we are doing something of great significance then regarding their tongue, the challenge presented to women, and I also put in brackets, men in the churches are not to slander others. You know what slander is? Speaking evil of someone, and it's false. You're slandering them. [00:31:44] They were nothing about gossiping or diminishing the standing of others. That word slander here is the singular word we use and translate devil from. So if you're talking bad about people, you're doing devil's work. [00:31:57] I don't know about you, but I want to do God's work. I'm not interested in furthering the kingdom of darkness. I want to further the kingdom of God. So that's why gossiping and slander are so malicious. [00:32:08] As a matter of fact, it's interesting to me that as we age, and I fit in that category, I don't feel like I'm aging. But when I look in the mirror, I go, who is this older guy? [00:32:19] I think we all feel that way as we age. But you know, you're either going to get better and tender and softer, or you're going to get harsh and hard. [00:32:28] And I see this with people as they age. I like what Walter Spence says or Henry Spence says, old age is at times intolerant, sensuous, even bitter, forgetful, especially of the days of youth. But Christ age saints must use their voice for better things than these. I want to just say something right now. [00:32:47] I think we have some of the most amazing young people I think we've ever. I've ever had the privilege of working with. [00:32:54] We have so many beautiful teenagers in our church. I am overwhelmed. Do you know, on Wednesday nights we have Sometimes up to 120 teenagers here. Are you guys impressed? But you know what? Even more impressive than that, we had prayer and fasting just a few weeks ago. We had 80 teenagers here praying and fasting. We had as many teenagers as adults and they were praying with us. And I was deeply impressed and moved by their prayers. Listen, folks, we have amazing teenagers. And I'm going to say something. You know, a lot of people are focusing on how bad things are. I'm looking ahead and saying, I can see there's the sunrise coming. I see these young people wanting authenticity, reality. They want to be godly. They're seeking God. Hey, we're ready for some wonderful days ahead. Because God is raising up a new generation of who have a heart after him. And I'm so grateful for that. [00:33:51] So what should we be doing? We should be coming alongside, encouraging blessing, instructing, you know, do everything we can to encourage these young people. We should be doing that. We should be telling them they're amazing, they're great. What can we do to help you? How can we release them into ministry? We'll get to that. Then, regarding their thirst, it says they're not addicted to much wine. [00:34:15] Okay, how many know that in the Old Testament, priests were not allowed to drink wine while they were functioning? They couldn't do that. How many know the reason why? So that they wouldn't disgrace their office by being drunkards in that office. But here's the function of a mature woman in the Lord performing a godly fashion, a manner in a godly. Sorry. In a mature women performing a godly function in a godly manner. They are not to be in bondage to addictions. And I like what James Huston defines addictions as. He says addictions as being so completely possessed that one is enslaved, deprived of inner freedom and ultimately of personal integrity is the ghastly process of losing one's soul. How do you lose a soul? [00:35:00] You're addicted to something that's dragging you off. [00:35:04] But then he goes on and says this. Unless one wrestles to overcome the addictive habit, no change is possible, only destruction. Addiction then means being caught, taken, possessed of, and then destroyed. But it requires the first step, namely the willingness to be taken. In other words, we give ourselves into our addictions. That's what he's saying. So how do you overcome this? [00:35:26] How do you discover you have addictive behavior? [00:35:29] Well, again, this is Richard Foster. Very simply, you watch for undisciplined compulsions. [00:35:35] A lot of people have undisciplined compulsions. You know, probably one of the greatest one is just social media. [00:35:41] People are on that all the time. [00:35:43] And it's really amazing to me. You know, people say to me, pastor, you know, I just don't have time to do that, you know, or I don't have time to read my Bible. [00:35:55] Come on now. [00:35:57] What are you guys talking about? [00:35:59] Everybody has the same amount of time. [00:36:01] Every time people. I'll tell you how my mind works. Every time people tell me, I can't afford to give, I can't afford to pray, I can't afford to do this. I don't have time for that. All I'm thinking in my mind is, you just have the wrong priority. [00:36:15] Your heart is not in the right place. [00:36:18] Satan is ensnaring you and dragging you off, and you're Being sucked into the vacuum called this world. [00:36:24] And what you need is to be set free from that and have a change of heart. You know? [00:36:30] See, I don't know if you know the name of my new book. Anybody know the name of it? [00:36:35] Who owns your heart? Where am I getting it from? Proverbs. What does this say in Proverbs? [00:36:40] Guard your heart. [00:36:42] Step one, give me your heart, God says. And then step two, guard it. [00:36:47] Enemy is out to take your heart. Guys. Not to destroy your life. [00:36:51] So, you know, sometimes we think we're cool. I'm going. We're not cool when we're not doing what God's asking us to do. [00:36:57] I think God wants better for all of us. He really does. [00:37:03] So let me move on. What must they teach or train? [00:37:09] What is God? You know what we need? Experience. [00:37:12] Experience helps us help other people. Listen, what is God teaching you? How are you putting it into practice in your own life? Experience is a powerful teacher. We can read all the books we want, listen to all the sermons and teachings that are possible. But when we've walked through it, been scarred by life, found God to be faithful, and what is now being passed on are words spoken with authority because they've been carved out of reality and experience. [00:37:37] You know, I don't know how many sermons I've preached. There's probably 2,000 in my office. I have no idea. Lots. Believe me. Some of you want to know. You come to my office, you open this big blue door, and they're just all these sermons. A lot. A lot of sermons. [00:37:52] I'm going to tell you something. I looked at the earlier sermons and the later sermons. The earlier sermons, they're saying, are very consistent with the later sermons. But what I'm noticing in the later sermons. Experience. [00:38:05] See, before I was explaining the truth, but now I've had to live through a lot of this stuff. And now when I'm saying it, I'm going, this is how it works. I know because I've experienced it. I've lived it. I fought through it. I've been through the battles. [00:38:21] This isn't. Yes, I was listening to the word of God. Yes, I was trying to do what it said. But when you live through it, you can begin to speak with some level of experience. And you have authority as a result of that. [00:38:35] Now consider. Let's move on. I'm going to move on to point number two, because I only got a few minutes. [00:38:41] My big habit here. Okay, number two, train others how they can live a consistent godly life. You know what's fascinating to me. [00:38:50] The Christian life is not to be lived in isolation. [00:38:54] Okay, number one, we're all called to be discipled. [00:38:59] Jesus says, come follow me and I will make you fishers of men. You know, go out and disciple the nations. We're called to discipleship. We're called to learning, we're called to following. [00:39:10] We're called to, you know, basically helping other people. [00:39:15] Basically, it's about parenting. [00:39:18] Great paradigm shift for me as a pastor. When I started figuring out my job is to parent people, I better have the right parenting model. And when I changed the parenting model, it changed the whole nature of our church. How's that? [00:39:29] And it's made for a better church, a healthier church. [00:39:33] Notice how Paul moves from strictly communing the truth, which what teaching is, to the more difficult task of training. How many know it's one thing to tell somebody to do something, it's another thing to go show them how to do it and get them to help you do it and get them to participate in it. [00:39:49] That's training. [00:39:50] You know, years ago I went to, I'm going to be speaking at our college here that I graduated from in 1981, a long time ago. [00:39:57] The name of our college then was not Seattle Bible College, it was Seattle Bible Training School. And I still remember Brother Smith, he said, there's a reason why we left the word training in. We're not interested in just filling your minds. We're interested in changing your lives. We're interested in training you how to do it, not just telling you how to do it. [00:40:16] And boy, they worked at that. And that was really important. We need to train people. [00:40:21] Big difference. They need to experience these things. [00:40:25] The verb for train here means to restore to one's senses, to make sound minded. [00:40:31] Proverbs 14. One says, the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down. So what are these women to train these young women with? How are they to train them? Well, let me go back, I've already read that. But let me just give you the points here. First, they're to train them to love their husbands and children. How many think this is fascinating? [00:40:52] Wait a minute. See, we think love is the emotion. I'm going, no, you got to train people to love people because I think love is a little more difficult than we realize. You know, when we first get married, we're usually infatuated. [00:41:04] Then we get to know the person, then we get to love them. [00:41:07] Because you don't love a person until you fully know who they really are. And you accept them for who they are instead of trying to change them. And you got to tell young people, stop trying to change your spouse. How many go, that's true. That's what they try to do. You know, I remember one time talking to one of these young guys that came to my office and I said, you know what your problem in your marriage is? I said, you're married to a fantasy in your mind. You have an image of what your wife should be like. And then you got married. Now you're married to a reality. [00:41:34] There's a difference between fantasy and reality. [00:41:37] Come on now, it's getting quiet in here. That's the reality. [00:41:43] And you haven't started loving that person until you finally realize, oh, they've got issues. And I have to, you know, I have to start praying for them, loving them, accepting them, caring for them. And they have to do the same for me. Wow, that's interesting. You got to train people to do that. Young women need to learn to become self controlled. That's an interesting statement. [00:42:06] How many know? We all have to learn to be self controlled. That's the work of the spirit in our lives. Obviously this is something that needs to be taught in all of our lives. [00:42:13] You know, letting people just say and do whatever they want is not training people. [00:42:19] If you're a good parent, you're going to go, that was inappropriate behavior. What you said there was wrong. You need to learn that now when you're a child so that when you become an adult, people won't think you're an idiot. [00:42:31] Right? [00:42:32] Come on now, that's the way it works. If you're a good parent, you're not going to just let your kids do everything they want. Well, there's no boundaries in our house. We just let them do what they want. Well, what's going to happen when they're an adult? [00:42:46] Wow, it's going to be tough for that kid and for everybody that knows him. Right? [00:42:52] Number three, to be pure. Literally chase. It speaks of moral purity. I think we can leave at that to be busy at home. This is a good one. This speaks of her sphere of influence. It begins inside the home. She's busy there blessing her husband and her children. Such a wife is to be distinguished from the busybodies whose idleness is a curse to all and to her acquaintances. Listen to what Paul was saying. Besides this, they get in the habit of being idle and go about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, they're also busy bodies who talk nonsense Saying things they ought not to. [00:43:25] Well, today I don't think a bunch of women are running around from house to house. I think they're on their cell phones. [00:43:35] You know, we're reading all this great stuff on the Internet, pastor, and they're passing on a whole bunch of stuff that you have no idea if it's true or not. There's so much lies being perpetrated through social media, it's unbelievable. And people are all worked up and they have no idea. [00:43:52] You can't even prove what they're saying. [00:43:56] It's true. What's the book you're reading about social media? [00:44:01] What's that? [00:44:03] The anxious generation. Non believer, writes a book and says worst thing in the world. It's creating all kinds of anxiety in young people today. What is it? Social media. [00:44:13] We're busy posting. [00:44:15] You know, it's so crazy what we're doing to our kids, what we're doing to ourselves, and most of us don't even realize it. It's highly addictive. [00:44:25] And you know, we're doing. We're wasting time where we could be developing. [00:44:30] It's true. [00:44:31] Last one. Be kind, Paul. Be kind. Okay, to be kind. [00:44:38] What does that mean? [00:44:41] Which indicates the word Agatha means not to be irritable in light of nagging demands of mundane and routine household duties. [00:44:52] I gotta wash the laundry again. We gotta do those dishes again. I mean, on and on we get frustrated. And I discovered one thing. I read a book once and it said, pastoring. There's two roles that are really difficult in life. First one is being a housewife. Your work is never done. [00:45:07] As soon as you do the last dish, somebody's dirtying a dish. Put the last patty goes, I just finished the laundry. And boom, dirty clothes are going in. The laundry thing. That's the way it works. You're never done pastoring, you're never done. It's the same thing. [00:45:23] You've always got something more to do. There's always somebody needing something. It's the way it works. [00:45:28] So I just get more relaxed about it. I go, well, I guess today I did all that I could do for today. I'm going to bed and going to sleep, not going to worry about it. I'll get up tomorrow and I'll tackle the new batch, right? Because it'll always be there. I never have to worry. And you know, I actually like my job. When people say, man, you're busy, I go, yeah, I love it. [00:45:46] Why? [00:45:47] Because you know what? Wouldn't it be awful to have nothing to do? [00:45:53] Wouldn't that be. You think that's. You think I'd love to have nothing to do? [00:45:57] Five, I promise you four days of nothing to do. You'll go, I'm going nuts. [00:46:01] I got to do something. [00:46:04] I think doing something brings meaning to life. [00:46:08] Let's stand. [00:46:14] Thank you for being such a wonderful group of people today because I preached a sermon that was totally outside the realm of what a Mother's Day sermon should sound like. Right? [00:46:23] And you took it because I'm actually challenging just not just you moms and not just you ladies that have never had children. I'm challenging everybody. [00:46:33] I'm challenging us to grow up. [00:46:36] I'm challenging us to be mentors. [00:46:39] And I'm challenging us that if you're brand new and you go, man, I'm a newbie. I don't know anything, Pastor, I saw where I was at, I knew nothing. [00:46:50] It's okay to be a newbie. [00:46:52] You know, when a baby is born in the world, he goes, I'm so sorry, I'm crying at night. No, he cries at night. That's the way he communicates, right? [00:47:00] You don't have to apologize. [00:47:02] You have to apologize because I don't know this stuff. But here's what I'm going to tell you. [00:47:06] Let us help you. [00:47:08] You know, you can fast track and learn rather quickly what it's all about. [00:47:13] You know, there's some Christians, they've been Christians for 30 years, they're still a two. [00:47:17] Stage two, they just got off stage one. They've never matured, they're just been staying in the same spot. And there's brand new Christians that get become a believer and within a few years they're at stage five. What happened? They took it seriously and began growing. [00:47:30] All you need to do is fill out a connect card, say, you know, Pastor, I had people today said, I'm gonna fill one out. I need help. I need someone to come alongside of me. I feel alone. I felt like you did when you went into that church and didn't know anybody. I need a little assistance here. I need someone to come alongside of me to help me become the person God designed me to become. Don't try to do it on your own. We can speed the process up for you by a long shot. Don't struggle and make all kinds of dumb decisions. Why don't you let us help us? [00:48:02] Sorry. Let us help you. [00:48:04] Alright? And you know what's going to happen. This is what I've discovered. The new people that are starting out when I work with them I go, man, I'm learning from them. They inspire me. They get my. They get me going again. And I go, yeah, I remember that now. Oh, that was so much fun. And I get right into it. It's like, you know, when you're a grandparent, you've got little grandkids and around the floor playing games. Pretty soon I'm down there playing games with them, you know, Pretty soon I'm going, hey, I'm enjoying this. [00:48:28] Because you know what? You're reliving something. You're reconnecting relationally on a high level. [00:48:34] And so this morning, let's ask God to help us. Us. Let's ask God to help us grow up, and let's help each other grow up. Does that sound like a good plan? How many think it's a good plan? [00:48:45] We're going to grow up, and everybody around us is going to grow up. We're going to do it together. You're not going to be alone. [00:48:52] That's so important to me. No one needs to do this alone. Please, please, I'm begging you as your pastor, don't try to do it alone. If you're struggling with an addiction, try, tell us, and we're going to help you overcome it. I don't want you to do it alone. You're going to, you know, you're struggling needlessly. We can help you. We're not here to judge you. We've all struggled, guys and gals, we've all struggled. We know what it's like. You cannot do it alone. [00:49:22] That's the lesson I want you to get from today. [00:49:25] We want to help you. [00:49:26] We want people to be mentors. We want people to be willing to be mentored. You know, I could be willing to help you. And you go, I don't want your help. [00:49:34] Can I help you, Derek? If I say to you I want to help you, and you go, I don't want it. I can't help you. But if you said to me, you know, Paul, I'll let you in. I'll let you help me. [00:49:42] And you know what will happen? We'll have a meaningful relationship. We'll get tight, close, and you know what? [00:49:50] We'll learn to love each other and help each other, Is that what it's about? Absolutely. Let's pray. Lord, I just thank you this morning. You're touching hearts. I believe that. And you're calling us out. You're saying, I want you to grow up. I want you to be a mentor. Even though you may not feel you can do it. I know you can. We have training to help you mentor. And also we have the ability, Lord, to do this together. Helping people grow in their walk with you, Father. It's so important. [00:50:19] I pray that that would begin to materialize at a higher level than ever before. For in our church, because people are willing to say, yep, I'm willing to serve as a mentor, or I'm willing to be mentored. I'm willing to be vulnerable. I'm willing to open my life up so I can grow at a faster level. I can mature and develop. And we just thank you for that, Lord. You're putting it in people's hearts right now. I believe that to do these things in Jesus name, Amen. God bless you as you leave this morning.