Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Well, good morning, church.
[00:00:03] I'm going to have a stand this morning as we go to the Lord in Prayer. And I'll just remind us about this discipleship seminar next Saturday morning. We really would like you to register, and I'll tell you why. They're going to provide some kind of a continental breakfast. Right. So if you register, then we have an idea how much food to bring to the event. So if you could do that, that'd be awesome. Okay.
[00:00:25] I want to just pray not only for the people that are gathered here, but many people that are listening live stream. Just because you're behind.
[00:00:34] To me, it's just a camera, but for you, it's in your home and you're listening or wherever you're listening from. Last Sunday, I was listening from somewhere between Indianapolis and Cincinnati to the service. How was that? I was traveling and Patty had it on, and so I was part of the service.
[00:00:51] Kind of a unique way to be a part of a service. But, you know, people have needs in their lives, and so I want to pray specifically for those that are listening in. And maybe later on it's even recorded. They could be listening to this, and they have a need. And so let's believe God today that he's going to meet every need.
[00:01:09] You know, the Lord is my shepherd.
[00:01:12] I shall not lack or want.
[00:01:15] He takes good care of us, and we can bring our needs to him. Let's just do that. Why don't we lift our hands to God, say, lord, these are the things in my soul that are weighing me down. These are the things that are challenging my life. I'm going to bring them to you right now. Let's all lift our hand and say, lord, I lay these burdens down.
[00:01:34] I want to leave this place. I want to leave this moment of time no longer carrying the weight of what's holding me down. The pain, the sorrow, the challenge, the trouble, the difficulty.
[00:01:48] Lord, I pray today that you would hear my cry, hear the cry of my soul and answer my prayer. Father, there are people that I love and I'm deeply concerned about. I lift them to you, Lord. Maybe a physical need in my body, I lift it to you. It could be whatever. The challenge is a relational challenge. We're going to talk about that this morning. Father, I pray you'd speak powerfully into our lives today that we'd hear your voice. And we thank you for that. In Jesus name, Amen. Amen. You may be seated.
[00:02:19] We're doing a series right now on the book of James, and we're in Chapter four and find out me, hopefully I can get done what I'm going to try to share because this is only part one, because this is really an important area of our lives. William Shakespeare, who wrote a great tragedy called Othello, is really the story of a soldier under his command by the name of Iago, who was motivated by a wounded sense of injustice. If you don't deal with stuff in your soul that can lead to things.
[00:02:52] He was jealous of Othello and he plotted to destroy him. He created a misrepresentation regarding Othello's wife Desmondia as saying that she was having an affair with another man. And he so in graded himself into the life of Othello that eventually he convinced him of that reality.
[00:03:15] And toward the end of the play, Othello's thinking his wife's been disloyal to him. Eventually he's enraged with jealousy and anger and he kills his wife only to discover that she had been innocent all along. And therefore, because he could not handle the grief, he destroyed himself.
[00:03:33] What makes the works of William Shakespeare such great literature? I mean, it's survived a long time now.
[00:03:41] It speaks of the transcendent nature of the human condition or the relationships that we have with each other. The struggles, the joy, the tragedy, they're addressed. And that's why the Bible is so relevant.
[00:03:54] Even more importantly, the Bible reveals something we would never know apart from its revelation. The very nature of God isn't that beautiful? How do you get to know God?
[00:04:05] Through the book.
[00:04:07] And in that revealing of the nature of God, we discover something of his love.
[00:04:12] And most people have a wrong understanding of God. They don't see God as a very loving person. Many people don't see him that way. But God is the most loving, most generous, the most patient, the kindest, most compassionate person that I know. He's amazing.
[00:04:29] Shakespeare often leaves us looking at pain and tragedy while the Bible moves us to hope that that's found in God. But this was really interesting. I read a book years ago by Ernest House. It was called Spiritual Values in Shakespeare. And he says this, that in Shakespeare's last will and testimony he wrote, I commend my soul into the hands of God, my Creator, hoping and assuredly believing through only the merits of Jesus Christ my Savior, to be made partaker of life everlasting. Very interesting insight into a very well known literary writer.
[00:05:04] So what is the underlying reason for so many great tragedies in life?
[00:05:10] I mean, I've just told you, Juan, Othello, like what was going on there and what causes unrest, bad feelings, hostile and destructive relationships? What's at the root of these things? And in James chapter three we find the reason why relationships deteriorate. And one of the main reasons is envy, jealousy, a desire to destroy another person. And that's why Jesus himself was crucified by the religious leaders in his days. Matter of fact, Matthew tells us in chapter 27, verse 18, Pilate knew that it was out of envy that the religious leaders had delivered Jesus up. Isn't that interesting? That's what was motivating them.
[00:05:51] So the problem was within the hearts of those religious leaders right from the very beginning. We have the issue of jealousy and envy bringing about the destruction of a relationship. Cain and Abel. Cain was envious of his brother Abel and he killed him. So the condition of the human heart is critical in having healthy relationships. I'm going to pause right there. I want you to think about that. It's our condition of our soul. We're going to look at that as we look at the landscape of our community.
[00:06:21] So many relationships in jeopardy.
[00:06:24] What does that say about the condition of the human heart?
[00:06:28] Pretty messed up, isn't it? Pretty broken, pretty fragile, pretty wounded. We want to look at that today.
[00:06:35] It takes, you know, But I think what's even more important is what can be done about it. We can say, well this is the problem. What can be done about it?
[00:06:44] That's what I love about scripture, that's what I love about God. God says, yeah, here's the problem, but here's the solution.
[00:06:50] You know, how can our self centered, sinful nature in a sense be subdued? We're going to look at that. It takes power greater than us. It's only as we yield to God's spirit in our hearts that you and I can have healthy relationships. How many like to have healthy relationships with everyone as much as it lies within you? And the Bible says to be at peace with all people as much as it lies within you. Isn't that great? So on our side of the equation, we want to make sure we're doing the right stuff. We're dealing with the condition of our own heart. And that actually affects the way people are going to relate to us in a big time way. So one of the results of a spirit controlled life is that we live a life of submission, first of all to God and then to others. And it's only then that his purpose for our lives can be known and lived out. It's out of the submission to God to that we learn to value others.
[00:07:45] And we can even learn to submit to others.
[00:07:48] Wow, this is amazing. Submission, then, I would say, is a key ingredient in human relationships.
[00:07:57] And that's a word that a lot of people don't really understand.
[00:08:02] You know, what does the Bible mean when we talk about submission? Well, we often confuse submission with subjugation.
[00:08:09] Submission means yielding to another.
[00:08:12] Submission can be either forced or willingly given. People who are forced to submit are being, in a sense, subjugated, aren't they? They live in resentment, bitterness, and anger. A lot of people are in that state of mind because they feel like they're being put down.
[00:08:28] The biblical idea is willful submission. It's something I willingly give to another.
[00:08:34] You willingly give to another. It's coming from you. I think that's powerful. Jesus himself willingly submitted himself to the Father's will. He willingly laid down his rights. That's a beautiful thing. And because of that, he brought great restoration of relationships. So I'm going to argue that the key to restoring relationships is in this word called submission first to God.
[00:08:59] We got to get that straight. And then we are able to more readily submit to one another. And I think that's powerful.
[00:09:08] So subjugation actually turns, this is what Warren Worsbee says, a person into a thing.
[00:09:15] It destroys individuality. It removes all liberty. Submission makes a person become more of what God wants them to be. It brings out individuality. It gives them the freedom to accomplish all that God has for their lives and ministry.
[00:09:28] Subjugation is weakness. It's the refuge of those who are afraid of maturity. Submission is strength. It is the first step towards true maturity and ministry.
[00:09:38] So a lot of times people are resisting, submitting to God, and because of that, they're hanging onto their will, and they end up doing a lot of damage. And we're going to look at what happens as a result. How many realize that insecure people demand to have their own way? Anybody know that?
[00:09:56] Listen to me very carefully. People who are secure in their relationship with God are not putting their trust in their abilities or their ability to control other people, which is manipulation.
[00:10:08] They're confident that God is in control and God will have his way. Isn't that beautiful? In other words, I don't have to have my way. I'm more concerned about God having His way. And once I'm at that place of rest, it's amazing how things begin to unfold in our lives.
[00:10:27] I was just sharing with the men as we were praying this morning.
[00:10:31] You know, there's people out here going, I really want to discover who I really am. You really don't want to do that.
[00:10:39] And I'll tell you why. Because what you're going to discover is that you're a sinner. And the more you discover how sinful you really are, how miserable you'll become.
[00:10:48] But the person who literally lays down their life and submits to God, they're going to discover that there's a new freedom that comes into your life. You don't have to control everything and you can rest and enjoy other people and you become secure in your relationship with God and eventually you become secure in your relationships with other people. And that is extremely powerful.
[00:11:13] It seems that one of the great challenges in our present culture is the struggles in our most meaningful and intimate relationships. Families today are integrating all around us. And the question is why? And I say one of the primary reasons is that we're not living a life controlled by God's spirit.
[00:11:30] We're not spirit controlled people. That's why in the book of James, he probes like a doctor exploring the anatomy of conflict. He shows how one thing leads to the next and that we need to address the issues before they get out of control. And the result is the end of once, which was once a loving relationship. Do you know all the people that I do weddings for, when they come and talk to me, they usually love each other.
[00:11:54] Notice that. Usually, you know, some people have jumped the gun. They moved in with each other, we've done tests and we find out they don't like each other. I've even told them, you guys shouldn't even get married. You don't love each other. This is not a good thing. Have you said that, Pastor? Yeah, a couple of times in all the years I've been a pastor. But for the most part, let's just go back there. These people love each other.
[00:12:15] Then what in the world happens later on when they don't want to see each other, can't stand each other, don't want to be around each other? Something happened. That's what we're going to look at. What happens. It's not just in marriages, it's in human relationships. Today people are walking away from every kind of relationship. There's really no commitment to one another anymore. People are becoming more and more isolated and it's really tragic. So, you know, James is going to give us insight into the real source of where relational conflict comes from. How many want to identify with the finger. Just there's the problem, okay? And wait till you see what the problem is.
[00:12:55] It's going to hit you, it's going to hit me, you know, because the battle is within our own hearts and minds.
[00:13:03] It's a battle of the will. Who will get their way in all conflict, you know, is about who's in control here, who's going to get their way.
[00:13:12] What makes James so compelling is that he doesn't just give us insight into the problem. He shows us how we can address the issue to bring about relational harmony. Isn't that beautiful? How do we mend these things? Yeah, we got a problem here. How can we fix it? James is going to talk about it. So let's take the first step.
[00:13:30] First step in relational harmony, understanding the nature of the problem. Now, why do we have to start with the problem? Because if you don't understand what the problem is, you're never going to find a solution.
[00:13:42] We got to look at it. We're going to look at it from a biblical. I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist. I have taken counseling courses, but that's not my expertise. But I am a theologian, and I'm a biblical preacher. And so we're going to look at Scripture, and I think the scripture goes zap. There's the problem. And every good therapist understands these principles. They may not say it out loud, but they understand this.
[00:14:06] James raises the question, we should always start by looking within.
[00:14:11] The first issue is to deal with our own sinful nature.
[00:14:16] We're often blinded to the real issues because we're part of the problem. We can't see past ourselves.
[00:14:22] You know, listen to what James says. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from within our desires, that battle within you?
[00:14:31] What's he saying? It's inside of us.
[00:14:34] The terms fights and quarrels are usually speak of physical conflict between individuals and nations. But here, James, he's not speaking about that. You say, how do you know? Because look at what chapter three talked about.
[00:14:47] He's speaking about what we say.
[00:14:49] Verbal.
[00:14:51] Do you know how many people talk to me and say, pastor, I'm experiencing verbal abuse?
[00:14:55] And we kind of make light of that in our culture today. But verbal abuse is really a big deal.
[00:15:00] It's very destructive.
[00:15:03] The Bible says there's power in the tongue. Life and death are in the tongue. You and I are actually building each other up, or we're tearing each other down. We're doing one of the other.
[00:15:12] So what you want to do is start building each other up, and we're going to see how strongly Scripture talks about this.
[00:15:20] He goes on to say, here no man can tame the tongue. No person can tame the tongue. It's a restless evil full of deadly poison. Now, why is that?
[00:15:31] Because our mouths are just spewing out the condition of our heart.
[00:15:37] Jesus said, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
[00:15:40] So what we're saying is actually coming from within. You know, a lot of times you go, I didn't mean to say that. No, you did mean to say that. You just didn't realize it was there.
[00:15:51] Okay, number one, so let's get a path. You know, we got to stop using that. I didn't mean to say that. No, we all meant to say what we're saying.
[00:15:59] And we need to understand something. We got to fix something more than just our mouth. We got to fix our heart. We got to go down inside of our souls and say, there's some heart work that needs to be done to. So that the way I'm going to communicate is going to change. I don't start with, how am I going to fix my mouth? I got to fix the inside. Far deeper than that. I got to go down to the heart and address the things inside of me that are broken so that what I'm communicating will be healthy and not, you know, malicious or hurtful or spiteful or, you know, out of anger, whatever the situation is in our lives.
[00:16:37] So I think this is, you know, having stated that conflict originates really in our sinful nature, our flesh. He's going to use the word flesh, but that's sarx in the Greek, and that's the old niv had, I think, translated its sinful nature, they've gone back to translating it flesh, like the King James. But because the word flesh is actually literally the meaning of the word sark, but it's used metaphorically, we have a nature that's tainted by Sarko.
[00:17:04] James is going to talk how this goes from intention to action.
[00:17:09] And that's the most important thing. We want to get down to the intention, because we can deal with the action by dealing with the intention.
[00:17:16] This is what James says. Well, you desire, but you do not have, so you kill.
[00:17:23] That's strong. Anybody think that's strong?
[00:17:26] I think it's strong. You covet, but you cannot get what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. Let's just unpack that for a moment. He's saying the underlying motivation for many domestic conflicts, which sometimes lead to violence, which sometimes leads to physical murder.
[00:17:49] You know, some people go, why is there domestic violence like that? Pastor, I'm explaining it to you. James is explaining it to me.
[00:17:57] He says, here we see that these relationships, we kill and destroy what we cannot control and possess because we're broken.
[00:18:09] One person can't let go of the other.
[00:18:12] It's not a healthy love. It's a possessive love. We've seen those kinds of things. In the extreme cases, you discover that the person who killed their ex spouse or girlfriend did so because they refused to let go. This unhealthy, possessive love is destructive.
[00:18:27] It's not about true love, which is what's best for that person. It's about what I want. It's self love. It's an unhealthy love. Okay? This unhealthy, possessive love, as I've said, is destructive. If they can't have it, they destroy. In other words, frustrated desire leads to violence.
[00:18:47] That's the worst case scenario.
[00:18:50] But let's face it, most people don't kill each other.
[00:18:53] What do they do? They verbally kill each other.
[00:18:58] Come on. There's so much verbal abuse and so much garbage and so many mean things that are said and so much things that are said behind people's backs. I'm just telling you the way life is working. It's a jungle in many situations. And how many go, I don't want anything to do with that.
[00:19:13] I want to live in a healthy, peaceful harmony. I want to live in a loving environment.
[00:19:20] That's what we want. And the Bible teaches us, how do we get there.
[00:19:26] James talks about bringing our desires to God in prayer. So that's what we need to do. We need to talk about what's going on on the inside to God. And though most do cry out to God, the problem is that the asking now is being driven by a wrong motive.
[00:19:40] We ask God many times to satisfy our sinful nature.
[00:19:46] Isn't that interesting?
[00:19:47] James says when you ask, you don't receive. Why? Because you ask what wrong motives that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
[00:19:55] Now, he's not talking about healthy pleasures here. He's talking about sinful pleasures. He's talking about, you know, these are the things that I want, which I know I can't, I shouldn't have. Biblically speaking, they're wrong, but I want them anyways. And then I go pursue after them.
[00:20:12] It's bad. It's bad for the person doing that. It's bad for the people that it's affecting in their lives.
[00:20:17] You know, Douglas Moose says Jesus had promised ask and it will be given to you in Matthew 7:7. But clearly Jesus had in mind that asking which has its focus and motive in God's name, God's kingdom and God's will. We're supposed to ask according to God's will. And I just read it this morning in First John, chapter 5, verse 14. If we ask anything according to his will, you know we'll have it. Not asking that had the purpose of the indulgence of those pleasures that are at war with our own souls. Why would God give you and I something that's literally going to destroy us?
[00:20:54] Well, he usually doesn't. But every once in a while God says, okay, you've been bugging me long enough. I'll give you what you want. Are you sure you want it?
[00:21:05] Be careful what you ask for.
[00:21:08] Because, you know, the Israelites in the wilderness started asking for stuff too.
[00:21:13] Every day they were bugging God. They soon forgot what God had done. They did not wait for his plan to unfold. Usually, impatience always drives the stuff.
[00:21:22] Lord help us to not be impatient.
[00:21:25] In the desert, they gave in to their cravings. In the wilderness, they put God to the test. So he gave them what they asked for, but he sent a wasting disease upon them.
[00:21:34] Just be careful. How many have ever gotten something you've asked for? And then later on you go, I don't really want this.
[00:21:41] This isn't what I was asking for. God says, yeah, that's why I don't always give you what you ask for. You don't know what you're asking for.
[00:21:48] God knows what's best for each one of us.
[00:21:52] Most people do not physically kill other people.
[00:21:56] We just simply do it with our words.
[00:21:59] That's how we do it. It's out of jealousy and envy that creates judgmental, critical attitudes towards other people. In the Holman Standard Bible, in James 4, 11, 12, he says, don't criticize one another, brothers.
[00:22:11] He who criticizes a brother or judges the brother criticizes the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you're not the doer of the law, but you're the judge.
[00:22:20] There's one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? What's he saying? Every time you and I begin to criticize other people, we're playing God. That's what he's telling us. Only God should be doing that.
[00:22:32] You and I don't have a clue what's going on. We think we do. We think we have the answers, but we don't.
[00:22:38] As a matter of fact, we don't know the heart of people. We don't know the background. We don't know the motives. All we're doing is judging what we can see outwardly. We got to be very careful.
[00:22:52] But what happens when someone does sin? And, you know, sometimes it's blatant and it's obvious and it's out there. What should we be doing?
[00:23:00] Okay, well, then we should be doing when another believer is struggling. Well, do we tell others, no, we shouldn't be doing that.
[00:23:12] We need to talk to that person privately.
[00:23:15] Notice I said privately.
[00:23:18] Both Jesus and the apostle Paul talked about going to that person and speaking to them in the right attitude, in a loving spirit, trying to restore them.
[00:23:27] You know, I was just talking to the guys this morning. I was saying, listen, when you're confronting somebody, just remember what happens if you were in their situation. Reverse the roles for a minute and think about how you want them to talk to you.
[00:23:39] Paul says it very simply in the book of Galatians. Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit, should restore that person. How many?
[00:23:48] Circle the word gently, okay, but watch yourself, for you also may be tempted, you know, if you have to correct somebody. And there's parents here listening to me, listen very carefully. Criticism is very damaging. We have to be very careful with it.
[00:24:03] There's a difference in criticism and correction. What's the difference, Pastor? I'll tell you what happens. Some people are just upset and they criticize.
[00:24:10] When you really love someone and you want to correct them, I think you need to start by affirmation.
[00:24:15] You need to begin to affirm them as a person before you ever start correcting them. They need to know that you're not rejecting them as the person. You're correcting a behavior, and it's this very specific behavior. So you start out by affirming the different things in their life that they're doing right and who they are. And usually what I try to say to somebody says, in light of how amazing you are as a person, there's an area in your life that's diminishing you. And because of that and because of my concern for you, I want to point this out so that it doesn't destroy you.
[00:24:44] And then I bring it up, and then afterwards I try to have a conversation where do you understand what I'm saying? And do you understand that I do love you and care about you, and I want to just reaffirm these wonderful traits that you have? So what am I doing? I'm affirming Correcting and reaffirming.
[00:25:01] How many know that takes prayer to go into a meeting like that. You can't be shooting your mouth off because you're upset with somebody and just blasting away. How many know you're doing a lot of damage, you know? You know what I always tell parents? If your kids do something wrong, take a timeout so you can calm down and get your head in the game and so that you can measure out what's really. You got to get a sense of what's the right thing to give here in the form of correction and how to go about correcting it. Okay, that's all free stuff. Not even in my notes.
[00:25:38] Jesus says, do not judge or you will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged. And with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sadness in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? So what is Jesus saying? Many times, the things that bug us about someone is the very things we're primarily guilty of ourselves. And we don't realize that maybe we're more guilty than they are. And that's what Jesus is saying. Be very careful.
[00:26:01] You know, you ever ask yourself, why does that bother me?
[00:26:05] You ever ask yourself that question? See, what James is trying to do is get us to do self examination.
[00:26:10] You know, instead of getting off the handle about. That's bugging me. Maybe you have to find out, why is that bugging me?
[00:26:16] Good question.
[00:26:19] This whole idea of critical and judgmental spirit is really at the root of it is envy and jealousy. And, you know, I think of Moses. You know, here's Moses.
[00:26:28] It's not always easy to be a leader. Marian and Aaron began to talk against Moses. This is his brother and sister because of his cushite wife before he had married a cushite. In other words, they go, I don't know if you're really qualified to do this job, Moses, but let's get down to it. I mean, the Bible is really revelatory. It shows us what's going on here. Has the Lord spoken only through you, Moses, in other words, hey, listen, who do you think you are, Moses? Hasn't he also spoken through us? So now what's going on?
[00:26:59] It's competitive. It's comparative.
[00:27:02] We got to stop comparing ourselves with each other.
[00:27:05] Everyone in this room is unique, and everyone in this room has a task assigned to them by God. And you may look at somebody and say, well, I could do that. Better than them. Well, maybe you can, maybe you can't. But you haven't been given that assignment.
[00:27:18] You just better wait for God to give you your assignment and be happy with your assignment.
[00:27:23] So what happens here is, they asked, hasn't he also spoken through us? And the Lord heard this. Now, Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. At once the Lord said to Moses, Aaron and Marion, come on out to the tent of meeting all three of you. So the three of them went out. Now God's speaking to all three of them. And when the cloud lifted from above the tent, there stood Miriam, leprous like snow. God judged her.
[00:27:47] You know, I've always thought about that. Now, why did God pick on Miriam? What about Aaron? Right? What about that guy? How come he's getting away with this? But I've done a little thinking about this.
[00:27:58] Well, there's a couple of things I learned from this. Number one, how did Moses handle the criticism? I can learn from that.
[00:28:04] So how often do people complain about something? But that's not the real issue? As I said, they're jealous. They envy the position. They want his authority.
[00:28:13] And as I say, we learn a lot about how to handle criticism from Moses. He didn't defend himself.
[00:28:19] He allowed God to defend him. And God did, in a very dramatic fashion.
[00:28:24] Listen to me.
[00:28:25] If you are doing the right thing, you don't need to defend yourself. It's real simple. In time, time will tell how this all works out. God will vindicate you. I've been criticized.
[00:28:38] Hey, you cannot be a leader and a pastor for 43 years and not experience a measure of criticism.
[00:28:45] So I get it. But I learned from people like Moses. Don't say anything, Moses. Notice how Miriam's sin not only impacted her life, she contracted leprosy, but she impacted the lives of the entire nation. Moses actually prayed for her, for her healing. How many think that's amazing? And God listened. But he said, you know what? Because she did this, she's going to be unclean for seven days. So the whole nation was halted because of the sin of one person.
[00:29:09] I think sometimes we minimize the effect that our sin has on all the rest of the people. It impacts us. All sin will always impact us in a negative way. So I think we have to really be cognizant of how impactful our lives really are in the lives of other people.
[00:29:27] And then we need to realize, as I said, why was she struck and not Aaron? Didn't they both complain? Yes, but it's Interesting. In the text, she's mentioned first, and I think it was because she was probably the agitator or the instigator.
[00:29:40] And God hates it when we sow discord in relationship because it always brings division and separates people. God says, I hate division. I hate it when you speak against each other. Yeah, God hates that. You know, God wants us to love each other, not hate each other. Right. So how do we overcome our sinful nature?
[00:29:59] It starts by submitting to God. But how do we do that?
[00:30:04] First of all, we need to understand what God did when we got saved.
[00:30:07] His spirit is in us. How many think God himself lives inside of us? Is anybody impressed with that? I'm startled by it. I'm shocked that God would even want to hang out with me all the time. It's a 24. 7 gig. I mean, he's been hanging out with me for over 50 years now. This is amazing. And he's tolerated me for five decades. I'm impressed with God.
[00:30:29] Right.
[00:30:30] And we should be. He's amazing.
[00:30:33] I like.
[00:30:35] So this is what Paul says to the church in Galatians. You, my brothers and sisters, are called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh or the sinful nature. Rather, serve one another humbly in love for the entire laws fulfilled in keeping this one command. Love your neighbor as yourself.
[00:30:56] But if you bite and devour each other, watch out or you'll be destroying one another. Now, I love this text because I had to look this up. Love one another.
[00:31:03] I've come to a deep conclusion that God is really interested that you and I would love people, love the church. We would love one another even as Christ loves us. And how is that?
[00:31:18] Unconditionally.
[00:31:20] Is that beautiful?
[00:31:22] So you know my prayer for our church. You know, I've been your pastor for 37 years, so here's my prayer for you. You don't know this.
[00:31:29] Lord, help us to be the most loving people possible.
[00:31:32] That's it.
[00:31:34] If that happens, that's amazing to me.
[00:31:37] How many think that'd be neat that you're allowing God's love to control you.
[00:31:41] That's the spirit in you. You're allowing the spirit to control your life. You'll be the most loving person. By the way, the people that are loving are the happy people. The people that are unloving are the miserable people. So I'm just pointing it out. If you want to be a happy person, be a loving person.
[00:31:57] But you say, I have a hard time loving people. Then you got to get on your knees and say, lord, I need your grace to love people.
[00:32:03] Isn't that true? That's what has to happen.
[00:32:06] So he says, I say to you, live by the spirit. You'll not gratify the desires of the flesh.
[00:32:12] You can only be walking with God or not walking with God. You can only be obeying God or disobeying God. You can only be walking in the spirit or not walking in the spirit. There's no other option. He says, the flesh desires what's contrary to the spirit and the spirit what's contrary to the flesh. I think that's an important point because now James is going to bring that up here in verse five. He's going to talk about that. He says, listen, the spirit of God inside of you is wrestling with you and desiring for you to do what God wants you to do rather than our sinful nature. So the little battle is inside of us.
[00:32:45] So all the conflict that we're experiencing, it's a battle within us, and we need to understand that.
[00:32:51] So not only are we battling with our sinful nature, but we're also dealing with the pressures of the culture that is rebelling against God.
[00:33:00] Bible calls it worldliness. James describes it as infidelity. Because, you know, he uses that term of idolatry and adultery interchangeably in the Old Testament. I don't know if you noticed that with our relationship with God. Are we faithful to God or are we unfaithful to God? Listen to how James writes it. In verse four, he says, you adulterous people. Don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity or you're an enemy against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. I don't know about you. I want to be God's friend.
[00:33:36] Anybody here? How many want to be on God's side? You want to be in a friendship relationship with God? How many here? Yeah, I really want God as my enemy.
[00:33:45] Pass hard past. I'd rather have Satan and all his demons against me and God for me than, you know, be a friend of the culture and in the world. I don't really care what the world thinks. I'm being honest. Their whole value system is skewed anyways. They're at enmity with God. Dan McCartney says it this way. The world here is neither the physical universe per se, who are made in God's image and whom God loves, but the ethos of life that's in opposition to or the ethics of life. That's in opposition to or disregard of God and his kingdom.
[00:34:14] So there's only two kingdoms on earth right now, guys. There's the kingdom of God and the kingdom of Satan, or the kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness. There's only two kingdoms. You're either in one kingdom or in the other kingdom. It's up to you. You know, we have a choice. Which kingdom do you want to live under? Which king do you want to have over you? Satan or God?
[00:34:32] I'm choosing God.
[00:34:35] Amazing. To be under his kingdom.
[00:34:38] Thus, the problem for God's people is neither delight in the physical nor love for humanity and its fullness. In other words, we can still love people even though they're broken, he's saying here. But an attitude toward either the physical or the social world that puts it in the place of God.
[00:34:56] They submit to the world's ethics and values instead of God. Desire the things of the world instead of God. Exalt the creature over creature over the Creator.
[00:35:05] We can just say it this way. Worldliness is simply putting this earthly life with its pleasures and values ahead or in place of God.
[00:35:14] That's what worldliness is all about.
[00:35:17] We see Jesus, listen, he befriended sinners. It's not people that Jesus has a problem with.
[00:35:24] He has a problem with a value system that's in rebellion towards him. There's the problem.
[00:35:30] And really God is against sin. That's why God came to Earth to deal with sin. And sin is always a diminishment of humanity and it's a destruction against our creation. We need to understand it. It's not our friend.
[00:35:45] And so we need to come to our Savior and say, deliver me from this terrible condition that I'm in. Lead me out of it, Lord, day by day, bring me closer to you. Help me to experience the fullness of my humanity. Listen, Jesus was the most human person that ever lived.
[00:36:05] He was fully human. Most of us, we're in some state of fallenness. Even though we've been saved, there's still an element of sin nature warring against the Spirit. And we have to keep saying no to the flesh and yes to God. And this is what we're doing continuously as we're growing in our relationship and mature, maturing and becoming more like Christ. And the more we become like Christ, the happier we become and the more loving we become, and the more understanding we become, the more kind we become, the more generous we become, the more forgiving we become. What a great journey that we're on.
[00:36:39] John describes it this way. Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in and for everything in the world. The lust of the Father flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life comes not from the Father, but from the world.
[00:36:53] And the world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. Years ago I read a book by Erwin Lutzer called How in the World Can I Be Holy? What a great title.
[00:37:05] He says this worldliness could be just simply excluding God from our lives and therefore consciously or unconsciously accepting the values of the man centered system society.
[00:37:17] That's what we have, a man centered society. It's living with warp values. At its worst, it's assigning value to what God totally condemns. So all the people that say that what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right, that's worldliness and God condemns it.
[00:37:32] As a matter of fact, at its best, it's rearranging the price tags to suit our own fancy. It's rejecting God's priorities for our own.
[00:37:40] What is he saying there? He's just simply saying, what's your priority in life?
[00:37:44] You know when people tell me, well, I don't have time to do this, Pastor, you know what you're telling me that's not my priority?
[00:37:50] Well, I can't afford to do that. No, that's not true. What it's telling me is you have a different set of priorities. It's all about priorities.
[00:37:58] We have to choose every day. You and I have a choice how I'm going to spend my time. By the way, time is the greatest precious gift that you and I have. And the people that we have in our life, that's the greatest commodity in our life. How are we going to spend our time and those choices we're making every single day, you know, your choices are determining the quality and the extent and the value of your own life. You're choosing the life you live.
[00:38:24] That's a scary thought. If you don't like the way your life is going, you need to reassess what you're doing.
[00:38:33] You're the one that's causing where you're going, so you have to stop. So what's the answer? Well, the Bible says repent. What's repentance? Change your mind.
[00:38:43] Say, you know what, I'm changing my mind. I'm coming in alignment with God's priorities for my life.
[00:38:48] I get up in the morning, I have certain priorities. I work out, I spend time with God in prayer. I mean, I'm Doing certain things. I study.
[00:38:56] I have priorities. I have certain priorities, and it's shaping my life.
[00:39:02] There are people that I have a great priority towards. I don't want to neglect them. I don't want to take them for granted. I want to value them. I want to spend time with them. I want them to know how important they are to me. They are a priority. We're choosing the life we're living. This is a scary thought, but it's true.
[00:39:21] James says, or do you? So what's the answer to this worldliness? He says, do you think Scripture says, without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in you? I kind of like the way they've translated that, because I think that's it. God's spirit is living inside of us. And God longs to relate to you and me in relationship. The number one beef that a spouse has about her spouse is he doesn't spend any time with me.
[00:39:46] And I'll tell you, that's God's number one beef with us. You're not spending any time with me. I'm an afterthought.
[00:39:54] That's sad.
[00:39:56] You know, I like waking up first thing in the morning. First thoughts come to my mind. Okay, Lord, what are we doing today?
[00:40:04] I want you to be honored. I want you to be glorified. I want you to be the priority. Show me what you want me to do. You set the agenda.
[00:40:13] God will and all those things that come into our lives instead of grumping. That wasn't on my agenda today. Saying God. That's been on your agenda. I'm meeting some neat people today. You know, I'm getting to do this today. I didn't anticipate that. Oh, well, you know, this is great. See, some people are bent out of shape when their agenda gets moved on them. Come on. How many of you are willing to admit that when it doesn't go the way you want it to go that day, you're not happy about it?
[00:40:40] Okay, some honest people.
[00:40:45] I'm just saying maybe God decided.
[00:40:49] I have an agenda for you today. And it may not look like your agenda.
[00:40:53] Just a thought.
[00:40:56] I haven't said that in a long time. I just couldn't resist.
[00:41:00] But listen, he goes on to say, but he gives us more grace.
[00:41:06] That's why Scripture says God opposes the problem, shows favor to the humble. Submit yourselves, then to God. What's the point of the whole sermon? Submit, submit, submit, submit to God. If you can't submit to God, how are you going to Submit to other people.
[00:41:22] That's the fundamental problem in our society. We're having a hard time submitting to God. How's that number one problem?
[00:41:29] Okay, some of you don't know.
[00:41:33] Let me move on.
[00:41:35] This submission to God not only destroys the work of the flesh and the power of our culture, but it also deals with our chief adversaries. Listen to what it says. Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. How do you resist the devil? Submit to God.
[00:41:52] Let me move on to the second step in relational harmony. It's understanding the nature of the solution. It's one thing to understand the problem, totally another thing to get the right answer to the solution and get to the solution. Wrong approaches to problems usually makes things worse.
[00:42:11] And I've been repeating the message over and over again. It begins with submission to God. When we submit to him, we overcome the world, the flesh and the devil.
[00:42:21] What does it mean to submit to God? I'm glad you asked that question.
[00:42:25] It's a military term that means to get into proper rank.
[00:42:29] And when we're out of step without step with God, we're out of sorts with ourselves and, and we're out of harmony with other people. How many have ever been out of sorts with yourself?
[00:42:39] Anybody had that experience? I'm out of sort with myself.
[00:42:43] So what's the secret? Getting in step with God. Some of you say, well, I'm out of harmony with some people.
[00:42:49] What's the solution? Get in step with God.
[00:42:53] How simple is this?
[00:42:55] You know, instead of fighting, you know, a lot of times we get into these situations where there's conflict in a relationship and really what it comes down to, who's going to win.
[00:43:03] Why do we have to win?
[00:43:06] Why do we have to win?
[00:43:09] That's a self centered approach to it, isn't it?
[00:43:12] What did Jesus do? He laid aside his rights. Well, yeah, but I have rights, Pastor. I know. We all have rights, guys.
[00:43:19] The mature person goes, I don't have to have my way.
[00:43:22] It doesn't matter to me.
[00:43:24] I can trust God. He's going to work all things together for good. If this is what you want. Unless they're asking you to do something wrong or sinful. Not talking about that. I'm talking about, you know, all the little things that people argue over that make no sense.
[00:43:38] And there's a lot of that.
[00:43:40] No amens there, okay?
[00:43:46] What is needed is absolute submission to God. Warren Wirsbee says unconditional surrender is the only way to have complete victory in our lives. If there's any area of life kept back from God, there will always be battles.
[00:43:59] He explains why uncommitted Christians cannot live with themselves or with other people because they're not submitting to God. That's the problem. That's what he's saying, and I agree with him.
[00:44:09] So how many know? We all fail, Pastor included. There's all those moments, oh, totally messed up there. Anybody relate to that? Totally messed up there. I'm in the wrong. What are we supposed to do?
[00:44:22] Why don't we humble ourselves? Why didn't we say I was wrong? Please forgive me. I was out of line. You know, repentance is always in order. Change our mind, listen to what it says. Rather than run from God, we must run to God. God says, come to me, come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning, your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves unto the Lord and he will lift you up. You know, we've got to get serious. We've got to say, hey, God, I really messed up here. And first of all, I'm going to say something. Every time I sin against a person, I'm actually sinning against God.
[00:45:01] What?
[00:45:02] I can prove this to you. Go to Psalm 51, when David committed murder and adultery. This is what he says in verse four, against you and you only have I sinned. Wait a minute, David, you committed adultery. You had her husband murdered.
[00:45:17] What's David saying? Sin is always primary against God. And so anytime we sin against other people, we're sinning actually against God because they are God's creatures. In a sense, we're sinning against someone made in the image of God. So we need to take this seriously. And how do we get back if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness.
[00:45:44] So what's the real problem here, Pastor? Well, we're living in a world and we're conflicted.
[00:45:50] As a matter of fact, you know, the Jewish people, this is really interesting. I took a group to Israel and we got to the northern part and the Israeli tour guide said, all we keep digging up here is idol after idol after idol.
[00:46:04] Because you know what, for the most part, the Northern kingdom were idolaters all the way through their history.
[00:46:12] Isn't that sad?
[00:46:14] And so that's why Elijah and they also said they worshiped God. But listen to what Elijah says here.
[00:46:20] He went before the people. He says, how long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him. But if BAAL is God, follow him. What's he saying? You can't have it two ways. You can't have the values of this world.
[00:46:35] You can't be living for this world and living for God at the same time. It doesn't, does not work. Jesus said, you can't serve two masters.
[00:46:42] He said, either you will hate the one and love the other, or you'll be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and materialism. That's what mammon is. You can't serve it. You have to choose.
[00:46:55] So let me close with this and we're going to stand as I close now and pray. But just let's stand.
[00:47:04] James is reminding us in chapter one, he said, listen, a double minded person is unstable in all they do. You can't be going in two directions. How many know it's hard to walk when one part of your body wants to go one way and the other part wants to go the other way? You're not going anywhere. You're stuck. You know, that's why I love what the psalmist writes. He says, teach me youe way, Lord, that I may rely on youn faithfulness. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. I love that verse, you know, unite our hearts, Lord, to fear your name. Isn't that beautiful?
[00:47:37] How many here say, you know what? I want to have harmony in my life.
[00:47:42] I want to live with peace in my soul as much as it lies within me. I want to have relational.
[00:47:50] I want love to be manifested.
[00:47:53] I want love to flow from my life.
[00:47:56] I want the spirit of Christ to flow through me.
[00:48:00] And this is what we're talking about today. I want my marriage to be richer. How does that happen?
[00:48:06] I don't always have to have my way, you know, think about the other person you're married to. What do they want?
[00:48:17] And am I even concerned about what they want? Or I'm so busy doing my own thing, where are they at?
[00:48:23] You know, I remember years ago, one of the fellowship pastors preached a sermon.
[00:48:28] Abraham was talking to God. And God said to Abraham, where's your Sarah?
[00:48:34] Where's Sarah?
[00:48:36] And he challenged the pastors. He said, do you know where your wife's really at?
[00:48:40] That was a very convicting sermon.
[00:48:43] You need to know the condition of the other person.
[00:48:48] You need to know the condition of your children. You need to know the condition of people around you. It's not just about you.
[00:48:55] When you start living like that, all of a sudden you're going to see changes in relationships. How many of you want to be around a person who really loves you and has your best interest in mind and is listening to you and cares about you? That's important, isn't it?
[00:49:11] Let's do that for one another. Let's do that for each other. Other. Let's show this agape unconditional love for each other. Let's be a forgiving people. Let's lay aside our rights and demand our way. Who cares?
[00:49:24] Let's learn to trust God. Let's give these things over to God. Amen.
[00:49:28] Let's just pray this morning that God would do a new work in our hearts. I'm praying that this message would have an impact in your life, that it would bring about change in your homes. It would bring about change in your relationships. So, Lord, I do come to you this morning.
[00:49:43] I pray, break through the barriers, the pain, the sorrow, the heartache. Some of us in this room, maybe we feel abused by our spouse, maybe verbally or maybe we've been abusive to our children. I pray, Lord, that we would begin to repent, that you'd give us the gift of repentance today. You would change the way we would see life.
[00:50:03] That we begin to realize that you have a high value towards this idea of love, loving each other. That you said that this is how people will know that you're my followers when you have love. One for another, Lord, that's my prayer. That we would model, that we would exemplify that love. We would prefer one another above each other. That we would really honor each other and respect each other and show deference to one another and care for one another and even put up with one another. Because it says we need to find forbear, Lord, help us to do that. Help us to be more gracious, more understanding, more kind. Help us not always wanting to be heard. But Lord, be willing to listen. As James reminds us. Lord, we need to be slow to speak and quick to listen and slow to get upset.
[00:50:49] Lord, would you guard our spirit? Would you guard our hearts? Would you bring about greater relational harmony in our lives, in our homes? Help us not to be so quick to criticize and judge when we don't even know what's going on. Help us to stop playing God in our lives and help you to be God and allow you to be God in people's lives and just to love them and care for people and pray for them and know that your love and your kindness leads people to repentance. It's the love of God and the kindness of God that brings people to change their minds and help us to model that. So when people see our lives, they go, you know what? And now I know what God is like because I'm seeing him in you. Help us to be that kind of person and we thank you for that. In Jesus name, amen.
